amazing

Its amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later, they will become a complete stranger. You will pass by them withouth a word. Without a single acknowledging look. This person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

It was the bestlove story i have ever through, actually. It was the first time, the first love story, the most intriguing, the sweetest, the longest, the first happiest love story ever. But, when the trust is broken, the faith is lost, there is no appreciation and all the mess things come in, thrashy temptation things come and ONE of us tempted, as if there were no memories between us, as if we just met a second and then it would be easy to forget so many things between us, As if we hadn’t promised before, as if i am the one who had to be faithful, as if i would be okay if i was hurted like this.

I still couldnt believe that this thrashy thing could happen to me, since I always tried to do my best, to be faithful, to appreciate every single thing, to make good memories, but it was a futile thingy when i was the one who trying.

And the day, when i started to be curious, i try to endure my ‘curiousness’, i wont let my ‘negative-curious-ness’ take control mind of mine, and then those facts came.. i still trying to not to, and the day, i couldnt stand with those shits. I asked to end that up. And he easily agreed with the decision i made, it was different from the decision i made so many times before. That day, he easily agreed and easily let me go.

And a day after the day i ended it up, in the morning, A friend of mine told me something. ‘something’ THAT i-should-not-hear before. WHY? It really burned me up and it was actually extremely uber HURT. After all the things we through,i never thought that he could do that to me. DANG! When i heard those words about it, i couldnt stand to be okay. i cried directly and cried and cried.

You know, how its feels like, when you love someone extremely much. You through old good days with him,but the end,seriously, your love torn you apart.

Then, day by day the fact keept flowing. people kept telling about ‘that’ to me. What would you do if you were me? And the worst was, you saw ‘that’ directly by your eyes and it was not just once., so many times, boldly, so many times. What would you do if you were me? How hurt you would be?

If it was just MISSUNDERSTANDING, boldly, MISSUNDERSTANDING, then, why did they do that? yeah, its not my bussiness anymore.

Its not as easy as you thought, until now, you can see, i type this, i still remember every single thing, the pieces of memories, and the feeling still stayed the same, but i wont let my feeling growing stronger like it used to, well, im trying to, even i know its really hard.

Everytime i see him, i remember all the love and the pain, the joy and the tears he brought, all the dreams and memories, all the past we made together and the future we dream we make together. But its only pieces of the past, yeah, life keeps turning. Life keeps turning. Life keeps turning.

Someday, im gonna find someone who truely loves me, someone who when he says he loves me, he really means it. He proves it and he wont let me go easily, he’ll be faithful, he will fight for me, he will be the one for me and i will be the one for him. He will take his place.